Becoming a better listener is a long journey. I’ve made lots of mistakes along the way.
I’m currently studying the book DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Cannot recommend more highly.
One of the biggest reasons I fail at listening is I’m not curious enough to really understand their situation. It makes me think about how this would truly help we teachers connect with learners.
When difficult students make classroom management difficult with their behavior . . .
When class clowns ignore your classroom rules in your most difficult class . . .
When parent teacher conferences are coming up . . .
When your toxic school administration won’t help with student discipline problems . . .
. . . let’s consider questions like:
“What else do I need to know for that to make more sense?”
“I wonder how else I can understand the world in such a way that that would make sense?”
And from a stance of genuine care, we want to make sure our learner understands that I understand.
The lizard part of my brain resorts to needing to be understood myself. The problem is when both teacher and learner OR teacher and parent OR teacher and admin are both doing this and we end up in a cycle where neither of us gets heard. Progress halts, and we both leave frustrated.
The best way to be heard is to hear. If we think they’re being immature, that means we’re the ones who have to start things and lead.
✏️ Curiosity is the way forward.
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